The Fuckers - The Last Album Before We Change Our Name And Sell Out - Released on Blank Face Records - May 17, 2014

The claim is that this is the most fun band in Chicago. Its been a while since I've been to Chicago, but I'm willing to bet that this assertion is probably the most true thing I've read so far this year.

I've enjoyed the hell out of these guys for years now and naturally jumped at the chance to review their newest release The Last Album Before We Change Out Name And Sell Out, which shall henceforth be referred to as TLA...  due to it being too fucking long to repeatedly type - thanks Fuckers! 


The Fuckers are two dudes named Mark, a guy named Phil, and a Luke, just like in the bible, and just like in the bible, these guys know how to drink beer, fart, and day dream about one day getting a righteous piece of ass.... Just like in the bible.. All hail the Flying Spaghetti Jesus.

Being familiar with this band and their lyrical content I couldn't wait to get to my office today and crank this thing up for my unsuspecting coworkers. I got the response I had been hoping for, a proper mixture of disgust, revulsion, and noticeable looks of disdain from pretty much everyone around. Score point one! Okay, headphones on now, fuck the top-buttoners around here - I have work to do and this is just the kind of music to get work done to. This album is so good it can make scraping dog shit off the bottom of your shoe fun.

TLA.. starts off as a vulgarity laden assault to common decency and finishes much in the same way.  9 tracks, 19 minutes. Just enough time to beat off, clean up and eat that burrito you were warming up in the 7-Eleven microwave. Thanks for the memories Ashoka. TLA... really takes off on track 4 I'm in a Band, Do you Wanna Fuck Me. Rarely has a band written a more honest song and rarely has this actually ever worked for any band - ever. Give Us $$$ continues on with the rockstar mentality theme, I seriously hope these kids didn't genuinely expect to get slathered in cash and poontang when they aspired to be punk rockers. Has Glen Danzig taught them nothing? Mark's Magic Dick is another standout track mainly for the speedy little guitar riffs and vocals that sound like they were forced through a throat that had just been burnt.

Wagon Wheel follows suit in terms of speed and vocal smoothness, lyrically, I'm not sure what the fuck is happening, I just know I need a stiff drink.

The closing track on this album is one that I can most relate to, being that I was raised in a home  that attended the great Southern Fire & Brimstone "Let's bring on the Apocalypse!!" churches. I was promised an apocalypse! Jesus Ate Christmas, bring it the fuck on!!!

All-In-All this is one great fucking album! Rumor has it the album title is actually a true story, these guys plan to cease being the Fuckers. I'll grant you a moment to tear up or cum in your sock or whatever your need to do..

Its seems the Marks, the Phil, and the Luke were visited by an angel that told them that if they ever expected to get pussy from being in a band they needed to start a Gospel Quartet because church pussy is the best pussy because them girls are more comfortable on their knees.


Anywho! As usual, don't take my word for it - give this bitch a listen and grab a copy for yourselves and be sure to check the Fuckers out before they are gone for good.

facebook | bandcamp | youtube

goatse

Mongrel - Evolution - To Be Released on Unable Records - May 20, 21014 on iTunes and June 3, 2014 everywhere else.

Mongrel is a female fronted aggressive rock band based from the Boston, MA area. Consisting of Adam Savage on  guitar, Jessica Sierra on  vocals, Michael Ariza on  bass, and Mike "Hoagie" Hogan on drums. Their sound is predominately metal, but has a hint of punk and good old fashioned rock that polishes a bit of the edge off, this otherwise aggressive sound. I have a couple of their earlier releases and can honestly say that they still appear regularly in my personal playlists. I've seen it debated often whether they are more metal than punk, more punk than metal or more rock than either. Truth is, when they make music this damn good, what the fuck does it matter what label you slap on it? These kids have been dubbed the hardest working band in Boston, in Massachusetts, in all of New England, they've won countless awards back to back and it's easy to see (hear) why. Hell we dug these guys so much we featured their track Declamation on our first compilation back in 2011. Their 2012 release Reclamation was a 12 track masterpiece and now that I'm sitting here listening to Evolution, I am simply blown away - These kids outdid themselves by miles. So say that they saw what they wanted and reached out and took it is an understatement. The production quality on Evolution is amazingly good. It was recorded by Jim Foster, mixed by Dave Fortman, and mastered by Howie Weinberg. These guys don't work with just anybody, they work with real talent.

Jessica's vocals range from angry to haunting throughout this release while maintaining that ultra sexy feminine rasp that I dig so much. Adam can really rock that guitar and make it do anything he damn well wants it to do while Michael and Mike hold it all in place on bass and drums.

Go ahead and preview the first track Snakes - while I tell you how good the rest of the album is.





Track 2 Oxygen Mask pretty much sums up how indefinite things are. "Uncertainty's forever, not diamond rings" this is a great song with a great message - at least what I took from it - live for today, reach for your goals, don't let a damn thing stop you. - I might be off the mark - but I'm a firm believer that all lyrics are subjective and mean what the listener perceives them to mean.


Track 3 Consumed has a nice quick pace to it, the guitars pretty much gallop along and Jessica's vocals really shine out on this one.

Tracks 4 and 5 Best Revenge and Over and Over are to me where Mongrels Punk/Metal hybridization really steps up front and center -

All in all this is a great fucking album. It hits all the right spots and can easily be set on repeat for a few hours without getting boring or sounding like you're just listening to the same album over and over. It's easy to slip into this one. Big props to these kids and congratulations to them for signing with Unable Records.

Be looking out for this album or suffer the panic that may set in when you realize it's too late to get a copy.


here's where you can find out more about this bad ass band and their unique sound.

website | facebook | other facebook | twitter 

bandcamp | soundcloud | reverbnation 

youtube | sonicbids 

Unable Records

The Timmys - Sangamon County Minefield 2012 - Self Release

Springfield is notorious for putting out neat little punk bands. Each poured in the same manner into the same mold. You know the kind the bands that are all up in your face non stop all the damn time. Kinda like that tiny, yapping, annoying ass furry think your girlfriend calls a dog. And then.. And then there's The Timmys. The Timmys are more like the guy that shows up to the party just to stand around like they don't want to be at the party but wind up becoming the party.

The Timmys are Brandon, Robbie, Tyler, Ian, & Gary. That's it.
Really, these kids have facebook, twitter, myspace, soundcloud, and a bandcamp and their names are all the information you can publicly find about them aside from their releases. And you know what? After listening to these guys you realize you don't need to know anymore about them at all.
I first heard about The Timmys on twitter - they were tagged in a post from some band about a show they had coming up so I figured I should look into them. I got hold of their 2010 release That'll Do and was instantly hooked. Are they Pop Punk? No. Are they Hardcore? No. They are just Punk Punk - the kind of punk that NOFX used to be. Party Punk - The kind of punk you want played at your house show. The kind of punk that has really a really tight composition, more than just three cords and asinine lyrics. OK, well, they have asinine lyrics. 

Enough chit chat - let's get to the business at hand.

Sangamon County Minefield is a 12 track full length that the Timmys released back in 2012.

Kicking off with with a track clocking in a a buck and quarter titled Nutshell, The Timmys set about quickly letting you know they know how to rock. The rhythm section is tight, the lead guitar is on spot and the vocals reek of young punk. Throughout the album they prove that harmonies aren't that hard to pull off. The whole album is track after track of well, oiled, properly channeled punk rock with the right mix of anger, idiocy, and crunchy guitars. It's difficult for me to analyze this album on a track by track basis as this is one of those releases that works so well as a whole. I will tell you that Life is a Game, IOU, Premature Intoxication, and Sangamon County Minefield are all stand out tracks very worthy of an EP release on vinyl.
I can't like this album enough and I think it is well worth your time and your 10 bucks.

Check it out for yourself and tell me if you agree, More importantly click the links at the bottom of this review and tell the band what you thought. AND more importantly than that - if you're in or near the Springfield, IL area get out and see these guys play live- they seem to like playing live more than releasing albums (they tend to have a 2 year gap between releases) Main Point of this review is this. 

THIS BAND REALLY ROCKS 

and is highly deserving of your time, respect and money.

facebook  |  website  |  myspace  |  soundcloud  

twitter  |  google plus  |  bandcamp

UGLYBoNES - Wrong Goods EP Review Self Released January 2014

If the ominously plunking bass opening the title track to UGLYBoNES’ (their pretty particular about the casing of their name)  latest EP isn’t enough to get you interested, you my friend, are a straight-up fuck. This Chicago area 4 piece act never fail to bring justice to the term “punk”. It’s what these kids do. At a buck-twenty per song, this 5 track EP is just what you need when you’re getting ready to go out and fuck shit up. I follow these guys on facebook and for the most part their daily lives seem pretty humdrum and average - they put off an air of “regular guy” then they get in the studio and each morph into their own versions of Mr. Hyde. These guys are insane in their music - to say they play with ferocity is such an understatement. Wrong Goods is definitely their most polished  release to date, in terms of writing, performing, engineering and mastering. 

This EP seems to take a darker tone than their previous releases - all of which stand up very well. 

So here I am, sitting in the dark, the only light source being my computer monitor and the flashing green and red of the EQ on my soundboard listening to this EP on repeat and gaining more and more respect for UGLYBoNES with each passing minute. 

Wrong Goods immediately sets a dark mood and then front man LV opens his throat and us know how sick he is of her/him/us. The track bleeds out into Failed Attempt - Jesus Christ, these kids are pissed and suddenly I want to go seek out anyone that ever told me   wasn't good enough and punch them in the throat! Jerkin’ It pretty much describes every Tuesday for me, laying around stoned with my left hand in a bag of chips and my right hand on my dick - I am beginning to think these guys work for the NSA. About halfway through Where It Ends I have to ask myself why the dumb bitch is still around - kick a bitch to the curb already! Fuck! This track puts certain co-workers in mind. Co-workers that really just need to die. And then we roll into the final track Basement. I've been following this band since 2011’s 180 Proof EP and Basement pretty much tells me everything I have learned and inferred about this band. They dig house shows, they love audience interaction and communication but they are smart enough to know when you’re feeding them bullshit, they aren't here to fuck around, they are here to rock your face off, end of story. 

Everything about this band is right. The guys fit together and really shows in Wrong Goods. This EP has the feel of a band that has learned and grown from one another over the years and have hit that level of maturity in their career to write and perform really fucking great music. May the deity of your choice bless these kids for years to come.

jacks insanity

podunkradio.com

Scheisse Minnelli set to release new album Sorry State of Affairs on Beanies Records May 2014

I was very excited recentl to discover there was going to be a new Scheisse Minnelli album to add to my collection, even more excited to learn that the good folks over at Nicole Beanies Records valued my musical taste and opinion enough to send me a promotional copy for review. 

Scheisse Minnelli is a four piece act that calls Germany home. According to their website the current line-up is Dedel and Dash on drums and bass joined by Samuel el Action on vocals and Mikey P. on guitar. 

Originally formed in 2003 this band has not taken much time off, they've put out plenty of full length albums along with an assload of splits, comps, and 7 inch EPs as well as putting in extensive time out on the road, I think it's safe to say these guys know what hard work is all about. 

Photo Credit: Marc Gaertner

Labeled as Punk, Hardcore, and Thrash; I've always felt there was plenty of that old school skate punk influence to their tunes as well, possibly from the California kids being involved. 

No matter what album you listen to from Scheisse Minnelli, you can quickly tell that these guys aren't just some hacks that happen to own instruments and have an attitude, these guys are skilled-assed musicians, each in their own right.

Set to release in May (see below for specific dates) Sorry State of Affairs is a 12 track success story for Scheisse Minnelli. 

Lost in Translation is a welcome beast in my earphones and a refreshing change from all the standard 2-3 chord punk I've been swimming in for the past few months.
Dash hits more notes on his bass in the first few bars of this song than most band ever will on an entire album. I'm fairly certain that Dedel  is actually a an animatronic piece of German clockwork, Sam's vocals are definitely more matured on this release without dropping that California punk quality that I respect so much, and Mikey P. is no longer proving he is the right guy for the job, he is just flat out demonstrating why no other guitarist will ever be able to fill his shoes. Sorry State of Affairs also features back up vocals from producer Archi Alert on the track The Voices.

TRACK LIST:

SIDE A

Hessian Nightmares side:

Lost in Translation 2:55
Looking Glass 2:40
Bad Luck  3:19
Cafe Fix  2:24
Room of Doom  2:25
In the Ghetto  2:05

SIDE B

California Dreams side:

Bags of Danger  3:17
The Voices  3:32
Wasted Talent  2:51
Memory Lane  2:07
Mal Pais  2:38
Cycle of Abuse  2:43

I've listened to this album at least 12 times since this morning and still can't pin point any one track off of it that I can call my favorite but Room of Doom, The Voices, and Cycle of Abuse are all tight contenders and will be featured Tuesday, April 29th during the PoDunk Punk Show (12pm Texas time and 6pm in the UK on podunkradio.com) 

Each track on this album is just as good as the one before and you're sure it's better than the one that will follow it, until of course the next song plays. It has been so long since I've listened to a record that is this damned tight! Not a single dud on here, NOT ONE! Take that Big Music Industry! There are still bands out there that believe in giving their fans ALL of their money's worth and Scheisse Minnelli is one of those rare, few bands. I don't know what this record is going to cost when it releases but I do know that you are going to wear it the fuck out and happily drop more cash to replace it. 

I think I've gushed on like a schoolgirl about this album long enough now, pardon me while I continue to rock out to this beast of a record and uhh, yeah, get in line to get a copy for yourself! 

Find Schiesse Minnelli at any one of their webholes

Official Website   |   facebook 


CREDITS - SORRY STATE OFF AFFAIRS - SCHEISSE MINNELLI

Drums: Dudel
Bass: Dash
Guitar: Mikey
Vocals: Sam

Produced and mixed by Archi Alert
Recorded & engineered by Tom Kornis & Archi Alert at Chaos-AD Studio, FFM 
Dufte Typen Recorders, Berlin (Nov. - Dec. 2013)
Mastered by Dog Jung at Kennel Mastering, Berlin
Backup vocals by Dash, Dudel and Mikey except on 'THE VOICES' by Archi Alert
Artwork by Sven Gjurček
Photography by Marc Gärtner
Layout & design by Nicole Beukema & Sven Gjurček
All songs written by Scheisse Minnelli except 'IN THE GHETTO' by Morris Mac Davis
And riffs from 'THE VOICES' inspired by William C. McGuire

Booking: benjamin@destiny-tourbooking.com
Website: www.scheisseminnelli.com
Merchandise: www.badpress.de

℗ & © ScheisseMinnelli/Destiny 2014
licensee U.S. Beanies Records


www.facebook.com/scheisseminnelli
www.scheisseminnelli.com

www.reverbnation.com/scheisseminnelli

The Creep Crusades - Blood Sweat Piss - Self Release 2014 TBR 04-20-14

You first heard these guys under the name The Pharmacists, due to a little hiccup with another band of the same name they are now The Creep Crusades. Name change aside these guys from D.C. are still doing hardcore the way it was meant to be done and Blood Sweat Piss only serves to show they can take the anger up an extra notch. While this EP has a darker note to it and the band is now a 3 piece act this 7 track EP is proof that a man down and a darker side is very much a good thing.  Dead to Me's intro throws a nod to previous release Vultures before it takes on it's own life and pounds frontman Lynn Dials' angry ass vocals into your skull. Jesus Ate Christmas can this EP get any better? The Bassline of Boring Son of a Bitch quickly jumps in to tell you, yes, yes it fucking can! And here's Dials again sounding even more pissed off, I don't know who is kicking this guy's puppy but they need to keep it up. I think Problems best puts Cooper's drumming skills front and center - he's beating those things like a hooker that didn't swallow and then walked off with his cocaine. Cutthroat makes the guitars even bigger and faster than they already are and really makes me want to be a teenager wearing combat boots in a mosh pit again. Yes, I am dating myself here but goddamn I want to kick people in the shins and stomp on their toes. Stabbing Party actually does make me kick things - problem is, I'm barefoot and I think I just broke 5 of my toes. Methmouth is truly an epic track. I  am not one to use the term "epic" often, this track earns the term in all aspects of it. Everything about this track is balls to the walls and sums up the title of the EP, all the Blood, all the Sweat, all the Piss is right here in this one track. All the Money Spent was the perfect track to end this release on. It perfectly blends all music from the prior 6 tracks into a rage filled conclusion. Something about this track puts me in mind of pre-fame Nirvana - you know back before they were just churning out what record executives were telling them sounded like angst - don't even fucking act like that wasn't the case - you know damn well it was. Here's to hoping The Creep Crusades NEVER take that road and continue making the music that makes them happy.. err.. angry. and here's to Blood Sweat Piss. As always, don't just take my word for it - check these guys out for yourself, preview and download 3 of these tracks here on reverbnation

Learn how to get your music noticed at ReverbNation.com

I think you'll agree that this EP is going to be well worth your time, cash and devotion to what is possibly the best thing rolling out of D.C. today.  At the time of reviewing this I have yet to pin down a release date for this EP, however the band assures me that it will be soon.

Grab this E.P. for a mere 7 bucks at bandcamp today. 


The Creep Crusades are:

Lynn Dials - Vocals/Guitar, 
Robert Cooper - Drums/Backing Vocals, 

Christian Askew - Bass

check them out at these fine internet locations.

facebook  |  reverbnation  | soundcloud  |  youtube  | booking agent

Also, for shits and giggle check out the band Lynn and Robert were in before The Creep Crusades

The SPLINTS

Step Right Up - Brassknuckle Lullabies Self Released April 2014

They like beer, they hate people, they kick ass! Step Right Up is a 3-Piece hardcore act out of Princeton, IL. Brasskunckle Lullabies has a heavy Leftover Crack influence to it and I see nothing wrong with that at all. Brandon Cartwright, Jeff Hanula, Eric Morris slip right into taking care of business with the first track titled Bullets. The song  begins with a chainsaw!!! How the fuck can you not love a song with a chainsaw intro? I submit that you can not! It is a fast paced track heavy on the bass drum and a guitar riff that I almost know from somewhere but can't quite put my finger on. The song ended while I was still digging on the chainsaw so I had to go back and listen to it again and that's when I noticed that these mother fuckers are throwing old school Metallica at me!  Track 2, Nervous Wreck, this song sees the speed of Bullets and raises it considerably. The third track, Death Tax is another all out assault on the drum kit with the bass line pushing my meters well beyond the red throughout the entire track. Nic is a Teen isn't sang so much as it's barked into the microphone, if the vocals in the first three tracks weren't aggressive enough for you this fourth track will hit you just right; at 4:14 it's the longest track on the EP. Typically songs over two and half minutes begin to bore me but Nic is a Teen held true and steady through to the end and leaves you kinda wanting a few more minutes with, maybe alone, in a dark corner while everyone else dances like fucking retards. The final track No Place to Live closes the EP on the same note it started on; fast, quick, and in your face.


I dig that these kids tossed old school metal riffs into their tracks without trying to be over the top about it - listen closely and you can pick out a few good ones, they are just played faster and angrier than you're probably used to hearing them played. Brasskunckle Lullabies is a solid fucking release with big, pissed off sound. Every track on it should get the kids jumping off the stage and hurling their bodies into one another. But, as always, don't just take my word for it. give it proper listen for yourself and make form your own opinions, but my guess is that you will download it and kick a buck or two toward the band in the process.

facebook   |   bandcamp   |   reverbnation